Friday, November 24, 2017

Manview observations #13: The Bra and the Duct Tape Episode

Welcome to another Manview observation. Honestly, I'm surprised this episode in our life has made it into a Manview opinion piece. While it was an inconvenience for me, it's screamingly funny from Mr Manview's perspective. 

I hope you enjoy this installment of Mr Manview's observations.

Sexy woman in red bra
Photo via Visualhunt.com

Deanna and I have shared a few uncomfortable experiences recently relating to broken bras. But it did highlight how different a Manview can be from the female perspective. This truly came to light as I tried to help her through her broken bra dilemma.

She had not bought any new bras in a while and had two of them where the underwire popped out. Apparently this is a painful experience as the underwire can poke your tit (or breast if you ladies prefer). For some reason this tended to happen when we were driving, so I was able to share this wonderful experience with her. Frankly, I found the experience disturbing and frustrating. How the hell do you have a problem with a bra? I never have problems with my underwear. I do not need underwire to hold my package afloat. But maybe if I did, I could compete more with those romance novel boyfriends!

Fancy bras
Photo via Visual hunt

To further exacerbate my annoyance with the broken bra, she kept trying to fix it and say “it’ll be all right mate!” I offered to go to a Target store while we were still in Duluth, Minnesota, but she passed on that opportunity. And damn – that underwire just kept popping out and poking her in the tit. And we were traveling through the Minnesota North Woods at the time and did not have access to any stores with large bra supplies. But Mr. Manview is a problem-solver! I offered to skin a raccoon and use the pelt as a support structure, but she found that gross, which was really too bad as I had already branded it the ‘Raccoon Rack’. So I then looked to my two solutions for everything – WD-40 and duct tape! WD-40 would have just made a real mess of things, but duct tape had some real potential. With a pair of pliers, I could finagle the underwire back into the bra and hold it in place and then keep it there with the duct tape. Sure there was the issue of the duct tape sticking to raw flesh, but that seem less painful than being poked in the tit and it is was a small price to pay for elevating and supporting those lovely orbs. If women were comfortable using band-aids, there should not be any problem with duct tape, right?

Raccoon
Photo via VisualHunt.com

So we had a few days of this underwire continuing to poke out and poking her in the tit. That was followed by all sorts of adjustments to try to get it back in place. And I was worried about an accident. I mean there we are driving the back roads and she is playing with her tits. Again, trying to bring the Manview perspective to a solution, I told her to go braless. Well, that did not seem like a female solution either – some bullshit about gravity not being her friend. I was simmering in anger as I already had suggested the Raccoon Rack and the duct tape as solution to the gravity problem.

Guy with duct tape
Photo credit: IcronticPrime via Visual hunt / CC BY-ND

So this went on for a few days until we finally hit a town large enough to host a Target store and get a new bra. Well, we did get a new bra, but what a pain that was – at least for me to listen to! Bra not her normal style, fit wasn’t quite right, cup too big or too small or some other crap complaint of the day. While the underwire was not popping out anymore, the whining about the fit made it more painful for me than I can possibly imagine being poked in the tit is! I could not take it any more. I used the leftover duct tape to wrap around my ears so I no longer had to listen to the whining. And that, my friends is how Mr Manview solves a ‘female’ problem!

WD-40 bottles
Photo credit: JeepersMedia via Visual Hunt / CC BY

Did you enjoy this? Was poor Mr Manview's foiled attempts at problem solving hilarious? Have you ever been in such a situation yourself?

Read all the other Manview observations here.


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8 comments:

  1. Oh funny that is why I never buy underwire bras :)

    Have Fun

    Helen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always get an underwire bra. To me it seems to give better support but I could be wrong.

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  2. Buying a bra is one of the most traumatic experiences there is. You try wearing an underwire bra, Mr. Manview!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think in his chequered past, Mr Manview has tried on a bra before.

      Delete
  3. LOL!

    Bras sucks, I go braless, and I just had a baby ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would go braless but I do not like the feeling of bouncy boobs.

      Delete
  4. I stopped buying the underwire bras because of that problem. Yeah it's a little less support but I prefer it to getting pinched in the boob by the wire.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm still wearing underwire bras. I like the support. I'm paranoid about saggy boobs.

      Delete